


Wouldn't It Be Lovely

by HybridOwl



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fixing the Timeline, M/M, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, So many Audrey Hepburn film references, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, like 98 percent fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-01 18:30:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17249270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HybridOwl/pseuds/HybridOwl
Summary: Tony makes a My Fair Lady reference, Bucky takes it way too seriously, and it kind of spirals out of control from there.





	Wouldn't It Be Lovely

**Author's Note:**

> Tony still has the arc reactor because reasons. Steve and Bucky told Tony about his parents murder because in this world they don’t make (as) bad choices. 
> 
> I reference no less than 4 Audrey Hepburn films in this, so, yeah, have fun with finding those, hopefully the fic makes sense even if you don’t know where the reference is coming from. 
> 
> I'm trying to clear out my unfinished fic folder before midnight, and though I tried to fix the tenses, some are still shot to hell, so I apologize. If anyone wants to beta, I would be eternally grateful.

It starts, surprisingly, from what Tony considered a fairly innocuous comment. Rogers was in the living room, trying to diplomatically answer Barnes’s questions about what he missed while avoiding anything whatsoever unpleasant, which meant that Rogers wasn’t telling Barnes jack shit. Tony had decided to camp out on one of the couches, mostly to watch this train wreck in action, and working on a Starkpad while occasionally contradicting Rogers when he got something spectacularly wrong or when Tony was feeling particularly like being an asshole. 

Eventually, Rogers had snapped (Tony counted another win in his own column, satisfied) and had asked “what is your problem, Stark?”

Tony didn’t even look up from the tablet.

“My problem is that you aren’t telling him anything Wikipedia couldn’t tell him but better, and that’s not a good sign cap. If you’re going to play  _ My Fair Lady _ with the amnesiac assassin, at least teach him the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain or something.” Tony said, tweaking one of the numbers in the equation, his internal sigh of victory almost enough to drown out the external sigh that seemed say both ‘I didn’t understand that reference’ and ‘why do you have to be like this, Stark?’ from Rogers.

It was a satisfying sound to Tony’s ears.

Ever since Rogers had brought Barnes in from the cold, any friendship that had been developing between him and Tony had crumbled like dust. Rogers spent all his time with Barnes, which left Tony cranky at him and feeling vulnerable about being cranky, so he brought out his old habit of being a much of a dick as he could manage while Rogers was around. Rogers in turn got frustrated and pulled back even more, which caused Tony to behave even worse. 

It was a very real cycle of pain, but Tony childishly operated under the tenant that Rogers started it, so it wasn’t Tony’s job to fix it. Most of the team was quite exasperated at that, Clint asking why Tony had to pull Steve’s pigtails all the time, Natasha saying something or other in Russian, Bruce calmly sitting him down and explaining that this wasn’t going to actually get Tony the results he wants, but as Tony didn’t actually know what results he wanted to get, Tony had not so calmly GTFO’d from Bruce's presence. Thor didn’t seem to have noticed anything weird yet, which was fair as between trips to Asgard, visiting Jane, and actual missions, Thor was hardly around at all. Steve just gave him sad and frustrated eyes, and Barnes didn’t interact with him at all, both of which served Tony just fine.

This non-interaction from Barnes is what made it surprising when later that day (the next day? The day after that? Fuck if Tony knew, engineering binges does not equal focus on the time) Friday lowered the music and announced “you’ve got a visitor, boss.”

And when Tony looked up, it was Barnes standing just outside the workshop door, waiting to come in even though the door was wide open. For a wild moment, Tony’s mind went towards vampire accusations, telling him that Barnes couldn’t come in without permission and letting him in would lead to a world of pain and possibly bloodsucking. 

In retrospect, that had almost been accurate. Well, not the bloodsucking, but definitely the world of pain. 

But at the time, Tony had pushed the thought aside, and invited Barnes in with an expansive gesture and a “make yourself at home snowflake.” 

Barnes came in, looking around with that expressionless face of his. It was weird, Tony had seen old reels of Barnes and Steve together in the field, and Barnes had had nothing like expressionlessness, always with a quirked lip or a twinkle in his eye, always ready to throw in a smartass comment. Pre-teenage Tony had thought it made a damn attractive picture, especially combined with Barnes’s looks and his place next to Steve designated-wet-dream Rogers. Now though? It was like only the shell was left of that.

“What brings you to my lair? Arm acting up?” Tony asked, putting aside his thoughts. He had decided when Steve brought Barnes in, when Steve had told Tony about what Barnes had done to his parents and when Barnes more or less groveled for forgiveness or at least tolerance, that Tony would put the past behind him. Admittedly, Tony had spent two months avoiding both of them after that and immediately followed it up with his jerk of the year act, so maybe he hadn’t been great at putting the past away. But he wasn’t like Steve, who seemed to need Barnes to return to his old self, gave Barnes hopeful looks whenever the man so much as blinked. It was like Barnes was Steve’s sun, and there was just no place left in the sky for anyone else.

Okay, Tony was bitter. He didn’t have to admit it to anybody, though.

“Arm’s fine.” Barnes said, voice rusty from disuse. Tony wondered when that was going to go away, if it ever would. Maybe not, as he only seemed to talk to Steve and sometimes Natasha, and even those rarely enough that he spent most of his days in silence. Tony knew he’d go crazy, being as quiet as Barnes was all the time. 

Tony cocked his head.

“Then I repeat, what brings you down here? And with no Star Spangled Man, I might add.” Tony asked, and Barnes gave the impression of shifting uncomfortably without actually moving a muscle, and wow, that was an impressive skill.

“Couldn’t ask with him there. Would make him all… disappointed.” Barnes said, the last no more than a mumble, but Tony heard it anyway. Tony raised an eyebrow; this was sure to be interesting. He waited for Barnes to say more, and time passed like molasses until Barnes finally said “ _ My Fair Lady _ .”

Well that wasn’t what Tony was expecting. Actually, Tony didn’t know what he was expecting, but that wasn’t it. 

“What about it?” Tony asked slowly. It occurred to him that Barnes might be having an episode and was about to kill Tony in cold blood. Like any non self preservation having individual, Tony scooted closer on his stool, wanting to hear where this was going. Friday would probably call the Avengers if Barnes killed him. Probably. 

“I watched it. Last night, after Steve went to sleep.” Barnes said. He seemed to think this was sufficient explanation, his eyes going expectant. It was not nearly enough for Tony, and something in his face must have said so, because Barnes deflated a little, again without moving. He continued, awkwardly, “Steve isn’t Henry Higgins.”

Tony had to laugh at that. “No, no he’s not. You see I was making a joke, winding him up-”

“You could be.” Barnes interrupted, looking a little pained for doing so, like he was expecting retribution for it. He still stood his ground, looking at Tony and not. Moving.

“I could be- what? Henry Higgins?” Tony asked, and he was very lost. Luckily, he was smarter than most, the smartest in almost any given room (Bruce and T’challa’s sister, man, they broke the curve in a disgusting way), and his brain was already working through the problem. His comment to Steve, Barnes’s words, Henry Higgins- 

His voice goes pretty incredulous and embarrassingly high pitched when he says, “You want me to  _ My Fair Lady _ you?”

Barnes shifted uncomfortably again, but didn’t contradict him. Tony may have been struck speechless for a few moments, because seriously? Seriously?!

“You- you know that the clothes and the accent and that bullshit they did doesn’t actually work, right?”

Barnes actually rolled his eyes. “Thank you, I’m not an idiot.”

Okay, maybe the sarcastic little shit was in there somewhere, still. “Then what-”

“Just teach me how to  _ function _ . I don’t know how to do anything anymore. People talk and I don’t understand - what the hell is a yeet, and why is it a big mood? -  I try to make a phone call and it just rings, and I- I can’t-” Barnes stopped, taking a breath. “You were right. Steve doesn’t tell me anything, he doesn’t want to. And he doesn’t know everything, either, so even if he did, it would be the blind leading the blind. He wants me to remember who I was, become who I was, but I’m not him anymore. I’m- something new. And I’ve got to live with that, and move forward.”

“...That’s probably the most I’ve heard you talk in one go, ever. Wow. I’m speechless.” Tony manages. Barnes makes some sort of sarcastic move with his face, something along the lines of ‘doesn’t sound like it to me,’ and Tony bites back a smile. It doesn’t take him much time to think it over. “Yeah, okay.”

For a moment, Barnes’s whole face changed in surprise. “What?”

“Yeah, okay, I’ll teach you. Disclaimer that I’m probably not going to be the best teacher, I’m kind of intensely eccentric and I have assistants to take care of most of the everyday stuff, but I’ll try.” Tony promised. Barnes’s shoulders actually sagged with relief. Tony wondered how much he had wound himself up, worried that Tony was going to turn him away, probably that Tony was going to mock him mercilessly. It’s true that Tony and Barnes didn’t know each other, and their shared past didn’t exactly leave them at a place where lovefests were the norm, but Tony didn’t actually hate the other man. 

And he understood, something turning you into something new. He got Iron man out of it. Barnes got to be a windup murder doll for 70 years. Tony had some ability to keep perspective, here. 

“Alright, Miss Holly Golightly, is there anything you want to know right now?” Tony asked, and Barnes shifted without shifting again. So there was something.

“Aren’t you busy?” Barnes asked.

“That’s my secret Starbucks, I’m always busy.” Tony quipped, figuring Barnes might have seen Bruce’s little speech before the battle for New York. Judging by the ever so slight uptick of Barnes lips, he got the reference. “Seriously. If this is going to work, you have to actually ask me what you want to know. I can give you the sparknotes- the short version, but there’s just too much out there for me to give you everything. Memory downloads aren’t actually a thing. Yet.”

Barnes nodded. “What are… how do people treat guys that like guys, girls that like girls, these days?”

It’s Tony’s turn to blink in surprise, but then he leans forward, steeping his fingers and considering.

“It varies a lot, honestly. It isn’t illegal anymore in America and most other places, and gay marriage is legal in a lot of countries and most states-” Tony thinks he hears a sharp inhale of breath from Barnes, but keeps going, “some people don’t like it, but they can go fuck themselves. We’ve got a long way to go, but we’re getting there.”

“We?” Barnes asked. “I thought- weren’t you dating Pepper? Was she… a front or-”

“No.” Tony says sharply. He’d heard that line of thinking before, and he wasn’t going to let Barnes keep it for a second. “I really was dating Pepper. I loved her, in my way. I’m Bi- Bisexual. I like both. Well, and some in between, but for the purpose of this conversation, Bi.”

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to offend you.” Barnes says, shoulders going up fractionally, and Tony got the impression he was ashamed. Tony sighed.

“It’s fine. You’re learning, and you can’t watch what you don’t know.” Tony rationalized. He then proceeded to change the subject. “Is there anything else for right now? Anything you’d like me to focus your education on?”

“No, that’s- whatever you think I should start with. I’m gonna go.” Barnes said, slowly walking back towards the exit, and Tony bites his tongue, turning back to his work. This wasn’t going to work if Barnes was homophobic, Tony wasn’t exactly the type to hide who he was, and he flirted like breathing, so Barnes was 100% going to catch some of that. Maybe Barnes just needed some processing time; it was a big change of attitudes, from where he was from. Still Tony poked his display screens more aggressively than needed.

He turned back around when he heard a sound from the door, expecting it to be someone else, but it was still Barnes, not facing him, one hand on the doorway. He didn’t make any more noise for a moment, and Tony was starting to think he needed to get the guy medical attention or something, when Barnes said something quiet.

“I didn’t catch that, Winter Wonderland, what did you say?”

“‘Said, me too.” Barnes says, looking back to meet his eyes, looking determined and scared and like this is the first time he’s come out to anybody in his life and holy shit it might be. He nods, and leaves, and Tony is left staring after him.

  
  
  
  
  


Thinking about it later, Tony shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was, probably. Not with how the old reels always showed Barnes and Steve looking at each other. And that explains where the question is coming from, too. Barnes wants to ask Steve out, for real and in the open. Tony ignores the way his stomach twists at the thought.

He spends the next week compiling ‘lessons’ for Barnes while working in the workshop, calling up to Friday every once in a while when he had a thought on what the icey super soldier needed to know. He wasn’t sure how he was going to go about doing this; he didn’t know if Barnes was going to tell Steve, he didn’t know if there was a chance of triggering Barnes’ programming if he dug too deep, didn’t know what he didn’t know. And that was extremely frustrating. What he didn’t know, he researched, but there was nothing to research in this area, too far flung from the norm to be helpful. 

By the end of the week, he reaches the point where he looks at the list he’s compiled and goes ‘fuck it.’ He was better at trial and error, anyway. He went to go find Barnes. 

Unfortunately, he was with Steve, both sitting at the counter leaning their head together, close enough to kiss, and Steve speaking in a low voice, stopping when Tony came in. Tony went to start a cup of coffee brewing, thinking. This led to the second issue with teaching Barnes; when the hell was he not within arms reach of Steve? Even if Barnes had told him, Steve wasn’t going to be up for the level of instruction that Tony was going to give Barnes, would probably say Tony was being too harsh and giving information Barnes didn’t need. But Barnes had asked for everything and for honesty, and that’s what Tony was going to give him.

Thinking quick once his coffee was done, he grabbed it and turned back to the soldiers. “Hey S’winter, I was thinking about doing another arm upgrade for you, but I need you down in the lab for it. Would now work, or do you need to wait?”

Barnes looked at him, and seemed to get what Tony was saying, because he turned to Steve. “Meet you later?” 

Steve looked like he wanted to protest, looking between Tony and Barnes, but ended up nodding anyway. Barnes was gone before he finished the movement, leaving Tony and Steve alone in the kitchen and Tony silently cursing Barnes’s name. Tony is pretty sure this is the first time Tony and Steve have been alone in the same room since Barnes came back, and Tony is pretty sure because he had gone out of his way to make that happen, once he realized that it was going to be the Steve-and-Bucky show all the time.

“Be careful with him, okay?” Steve says to break the silence, and Tony can’t help but snort.

“Pretty sure he could kill me with his pinky, I’m plenty careful around him.” Tony says flippantly, and Steve frowns deeply. 

“That’s not what I mean at all.” Steve says, giving Tony his best Captain stare, the one that used to make Tony really, really want to be better than he is. It still does, but by now Tony knows he’s not going to be anything but what he is, and he’s made himself accept that. When Tony gives him his best ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’ face, Steve continues sternly, “He’s my best friend. I don’t want you to hurt him by being… you.”

It clearly isn’t what Steve wants to say, something underneath there that Tony can’t decode, but Tony’s hackles are rising anyway.

“Well, I’ll make sure to make him breakfast the morning after. All better?” Tony says sweetly, taking a vicious swig of his coffee and storming out, even as Steve yells at him “come back here, we’re not done talking!”

“Yes we are!” Tony yells back.

  
  
  
  


Using an arm upgrade as an excuse to get Barnes alone in the lab worked wonders, primarily because Tony really did start work on a new arm for the guy in between sessions; he didn’t actually need Barnes there for it for the beginning stages, already having all the specs he needs to get on with it. Steve tried to join after the first time, but Barnes made some excuse about sensory overload or whatever and Steve backed off, looking both like he was a kicked puppy and his best puppy friend got punted into the Hudson. 

Barnes- Bucky, he asked to be called Bucky, and Tony was working on it, though he still mostly called him Snowcone and such - was actually a good student, taking in information like a sponge and asking intelligent questions and actually discussing things when discussion was needed. His voice gets steadier, still as deep but without the crackle from lack of use, and his face and body started to show more expressiveness, like this was doing more for his head than the four months previous in the tower. 

Steve was ecstatic about the change, Tony could tell, but still very wary of Tony’s place in all of it. He started tentatively reaching out to Tony again, but Tony still wasn’t sure if he was willing to get drawn back into the fold only to get kicked out again later when he wasn’t producing results, so he steered clear. 

Bucky, on the other hand, didn’t have the same problem. He may have been a killer before, but he’d never  _ ignored _ Tony; and yes, Tony knew his priorities were skewed all to hell, but whatever. Whenever Bucky showed up, even if it was just to hang out, Tony agreed, let him just hang around the workshop, talking together like- well, not like old friends, but like new ones that were actually interested in where the other was coming from. It was weird, but nice.

they were having one such conversation, talking about food and mother figures and the Real Steel movie, when things segwayed over to  _ My Fair Lady _ , and what came next in Bucky’s tutelage.

“You gonna fix my accent up all pretty, Tony?” Bucky asked, mouth pulled into a grin that warmed his eyes. “The rain in spain-”

“Hell no, your accent is fantastic.” Tony said with a laugh. “I think I’d be doing the world a disservice if I get rid of that.” 

“Yeah?” Bucky says, voice going all weird and rusty like when he’d first started talking to Tony, and Tony looked at him; Bucky had already covered up whatever emotion caused the change in voice though, and his mouth was grinning again, but his eyes were wary, cautious. “Doesn’t seem like much point if the rest of me is like this.”

He lifted his metal arm slightly to illustrate, then let it fall, looking away. Tony scowled, rolling his stool closer.

“Listen up, buttercup, because I’m going to drop some truth bombs on you.” Tony said, shifting his head to try and catch Bucky’s eye. When Bucky snorted at the nickname and relented, meeting Tony’s eyes, Tony continued. “Bucky, you’re gorgeous. I say this as a connoisseur of pretty people; you’re it. And that arm? I built it myself, so you know it’s a sexy beast.”

That brought a huff of a laugh from Bucky, but he quickly sobered.

“It’s not just the arm, though that’s a big part. What I’ve done? It’s ugly. And now I have these nightmares, and I get so twitchy all the time. Who the hell… even if they liked the package, nobody wants what’s inside this pandora's box.” Bucky sounded so bleak, so broken down, and so resigned that Tony couldn’t stand it. He put a hand on Bucky’s face, feeling weirdly warm for doing so but putting it aside to analyze later; more important things going on now. 

“Your metal parts, your past, your nightmares they are part of you, part that let you get here today. Anybody, anybody at all, who thinks you are less than beautiful and amazing because of what allowed you to survive isn’t worth knowing. Okay?” Tony said the last part as gently as he could. Then added “and the people who never gave a shit are the ones worth holding on to.”

He watched Bucky look away, eyes watery but unwilling to start crying. Tony wasn’t done though.

“I know we’ve talked a lot about functioning, but maybe, if you want, we can look into something a little more professional.” Tony said, and Bucky stilled.

“Like a shrink?” Bucky said,, voice gone cold, pulling away from Tony’s hand. Tony sighed; he figured this was the reaction he was going to get, that’s why he didn’t bring it up until now. 

“A specialist. Probably with a focus on EMDR.” Tony corrected. “Probably sans meds, you don’t really need them. You can use the same person I do. Great with PTSD, nightmares-”

“You see a shrink?” Bucky asked, voice going high, and Tony scowled.

“Yes, I do. Got a problem, soldier?” Tony asked, glaring. Bucky visibly gulped, hands going up in a sign for peace.

“No, I just- I thought you were... normal.” Bucky said cautiously, but face scrunched up on the last word, like that wasn’t what he wanted to say at all. Tony’s laugh was humorless.

“I’m nowhere near normal, and I don’t know what gave you that very incorrect impression. Even when I was a kid I wasn’t anything like normal. I don’t share what I’m going through, I’ll admit it; I had a hard time getting my head out of my ass and getting help. But I needed it, still do, and I function better with it than I did without, so… yeah.” Tony finished, kind of lamely. Bucky was staring, and the very small self preservation part of Tony’s brain refused to categorize what that expression looked like. Tony looked away, looked down at the floor.

“Okay.” Bucky said, voice thick. Tony still didn’t look up.

“Okay?” Tony asked, and gee, the floor was so interesting, look at that scuff mark, DUM-E should really clean that up-

A hand went to his cheek, cool metal, and then to his chin, making Tony look up to where Bucky was looking at him, eyes steady.

“Yes, I’ll go see somebody. Your guy. Or girl, I don’t know, you didn’t say. But same as yours. I’ll try to think of it as… continuing my education, yeah?” Bucky said, and Tony’s lips quirked up at that.

“Well, I do have to make sure you’re all set before the embassy ball.” Tony quipped, and Bucky snorted.

“You do. Bad enough how things went at the ascot races, terrible business.” Bucky snarked back, and Tony laughed. He was surprised when Bucky continued though, “you gotta know all that is true about you, too.”

“All what?” Tony asked. It was sometimes hard to follow where Bucky was in a conversation, which part he was thinking about. His mind worked a lot differently than Tony’s own; it was a nice change of pace, for the most part.

“The- how somebody who doesn’t accept all of you isn’t worth it. I know you haven’t dated anyone since Pepper.” Tony opened his mouth to protest, but Bucky kept going, “And I’m not saying she wasn’t worth it, only that it was a hard breakup, and you- you got the whole deal going, inside and out.”

Bucky let go of Tony’s chin, slowly letting his hand go down until it gently tapped the arc reactor through Tony’s shirt. Tony’s breath did a weird hitch, and it wasn’t out of fear. 

He hasn’t feared Bucky in a long, long time.

“You’re beautiful, Tony.” Bucky says. “This part too.”

They look at each other for a long, long time, and Tony realizes, somewhat late and with more than a little horror, that he wants to kiss Bucky Barnes. Among other things, but that’s the main thing right now. And that is just not going to work, because it’s not his show. It’s the Steve-and-Bucky show. And as much as he wants it right now, he knows that he’ll hate himself for the follow through of wrecking that relationship.

The part of him that doesn’t care can go jump off a cliff.

Tony pulls back, coughing and plastering on a media smile. 

“Thanks, Barnes, I appreciate it. Now, I’ll get you that number for the therapist, and then you can head up for lunch-” Tony checks the time, curses himself, “dinner.”

Tony keeps talking, keeps bustling around, and out of the corner of his eye he sees that Bucky looks confused, then hurt, then resigned. And Tony hates that look, hates it so damn much. But what’s he going to do? Ruin a romance for the ages because he’s decided he wants the guy more? Maybe old Tony would. But this Tony wouldn’t, not with Bucky.

Finally, Tony ends up giving Bucky a whole phone, with the number quickly programmed into the contacts, knowing full well that he was essentially bribing Bucky, who had become his friend and maybe more, to let this go. But Tony wasn’t strong enough, not by half, to say no if Bucky said yes to this. Because Tony wanted to say yes, too.

Tony kept his media smile on; it did not slip, even as he said “well, see you around, Barnes.”

Bucky nodded, voice hoarse as he said “see you around, Tony.”

And he leaves.

  
  
  
  


Tony spends the next two weeks in his lab. He works until Jarvis calls in Pepper or Rhodey to make him go to bed, then he sleeps, then he’s back at it until he gets knocked out again. There are occasionally missions, and he goes, sits silently through the briefs, and does not look at Bucky or, after a particularly bad moment where he looked at Steve and all he saw was disappointment, at anybody else; he looked straight ahead. 

His luck runs out about a month and a half in, when Steve corners him after a mission in full Captain regalia. A couple months ago, it would have sent Tony’s heart pounding to see him like this, but luckily he’d gotten cured of that.

Now he just needed to get over the cure.

“This is stupid, Tony.” Steve decides to start off with, completely ignoring how it immediatly has Tony’s hackles rising. “You’re being an ass for no reason, and I want to know why.”

“How am I being an ass?” Tony asks, angry. “Seriously, I’m curious el capitan, how am I being an ass when I’m just staying in my lane?”

“Because two months ago Bucky was in the car with you, and then you dropped him off at the bus stop with barely enough money for a faire, and now Bucky’s miserable, and I specifically told you not to hurt him, Tony.” Steve rambles, and Tony stares.

“That analogy was terrible.” Tony points out. “You have no idea what the stay in my lane comment meant do you.”

“That’s not the point.” Steve says, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

“Well what is your point? Just so we’re clear.” Tony asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

“My point is that you broke my best friends heart, and I want to know why.” Steve says, voice and eyes quiet and frustrated and demanding and pleading. Tony looks away.

“If I broke his heart, it’s temporary. You’ll fix it, I’m sure.” Tony says, and then adds, because he can’t help himself, because he’s a damn fool. “He doesn’t need me. Never did.”

“I’ll… oh shit, not you too.” Steve says, blank, and Tony looks back at him, mouth open.

“Did you just curse?” Tony asks, and Steve doesn’t even let him get into a good mocking place, steamrolling over him.

“We’re not together, Tony!” He explodes. “Never have been, never will be. It would be like kissing my brother, but so, so much worse.”

Steve didn’t say ew out loud, but the expression on his face certainly did. “It’s bad enough thinking he’s an adult that has amorous relationships, much less having to be in one with him.”

“This isn’t a homophobia thing is it?” This is sounding a little too good to Tony’s ears, so he has to double check. His voice is a little faint.

Steve gives him a withering look.

“I don’t care if he likes fellas, Tony. I don’t care if anybody likes anybody, as long as everyone is a consenting adult, for that matter.” his voice is prim, and so very Steve-like Tony can’t help but feel fond, even if the next part makes him angry. “What I do care about is the fact that you’ve apparently thought I was mooning over my best friend and managed to mess up a perfectly good thing with him over nothing!”

“It wasn’t over nothing! I didn’t want to hurt you, you’re my friend too!” Tony yells, and then realizes with some shock it’s true, so he repeats it, quieter. “You’re my friend, too.”

“And you’re mine, Tony.” Steve says, stepping forward hesitantly, and then more sure, putting a hand on Tony’s shoulder, meeting Tony’s eyes. “So as your friend, I’m telling you I think that you can make each other happy. He didn’t smile until he started hanging out with you.”

Tony read the sincerity in Steve’s eyes, and Tony is a little overwhelmed, but knows Steve is telling the truth. Steve gives him a moment to process before continuing. 

“Oh, and Tony? As his friend, you should know that if you hurt him again I will end you. Just so we’re clear.” his voice leaves no room for misinterpretation, totally serious. Then he smiles brightly. “Great, good talk, see you at the debriefing in 10.”

Steve pats him on the shoulder once, and then leaves, whistling.

“Right.” Tony says, to the empty room. “Right.”

  
  
  
  


Tony isn’t 100% sure how to win Bucky back, to be honest. His normal approach (let the relationship float away like flotsam and jetsam on the tide) and his other normal approach (buy ridiculously expensive shoes by the truckload and dump them at the targets door) were both useless here. 

In the end however, it’s pretty simple. A week after Tony and Steve’s heart to heart, Tony has Jarvis track Bucky down, and then starts projecting the last scene from  _ My Fair Lady _ into the room Bucky’s in, complete with Higgins stubborn ass song.

Tony times it out to walk in on the last few lines of Henry’s song, standing there as he sits in the chair forlornly.

“He’s a jackass.” Bucky says. He doesn’t look at Tony, but Tony nods anyway.

“Oh, yeah, absolutely.” Tony says, upbeat. “Eliza deserved way better. Totally should have gone for ‘Street Where You Live’ guy.”

“Yeah.” Bucky says, and then turns to Tony, eyes intense, telling. “But she didn’t want that guy.”

“And you?” Tony asks, heart in his voice and on his sleeve.

“I don’t want that guy either.” Bucky admits, and then Tony isn’t sure who moves first, only that they are kissing. It’s warm, and intense, and not perfect at all, but right and exactly what Tony has always wanted. The music swells on the film too as the credits roll, and Tony smiles.

  
  
  
  


“So, where do you want to go, Frosting?” Tony asked, leaning against the balcony next to Bucky, who was looking out over the city. When Bucky gave him a raised eyebrow, Tony clarified. “It’s been 6 months since you asked me to be your Henry Higgins. I uh, was looking at the old lesson plans I made for you- the ones I never ended up using- and this was the timestamp of the first one. So since I’m bad at anniversaries, I thought I’d try to start in the black.”

“You know we don’t have to go anywhere, right? Or do anything special for it?” Bucky pointed out, did his squirming without moving thing, then squared his shoulders. “I’d be happy in a dumpster if you were there too.”

“I know. I’ll pass on the dumpster, but I know. But I want to share the world with you. Want to share everything with you.”

“You’re part Italian, right? I always heard it was a pretty nice place, besides that pesky fascist dictatorship that they’ve moved past, and I’ve always loved the food, even as a kid. I could go for a trip to the capital, do the tourist thing.”

“By all means Rome, it is.” Tony says, clapping his hands. His mind is already working through the plans, who he needs to contact and where he can wing it. “Jarvis-”

“Tony?” Bucky interrupts, voice soft and fond, and when Tony turns to meet his eyes those are just as soft and fond. “I love you too.”

Tony’s heart flutters like a goddamn harlequin romance heroine, and kisses his boyfriend.

And it’s lovely.


End file.
